A bisexual cannot actually be in a ‘straight’ relationship or a ‘homosexual’ relationship because - wait for it - they’re bisexual.
Want to collaborate on a Google Doc with Nietzsche, Shakespeare, Dostoyevsky, Dickinson, Dickens and Poe?
Click here. Start typing. Enjoy the hilarity.
Ninja Update: Wanna see something fun? Mention Shakespeare in a sentence and see what happens.
Poe kept writing distinctly into my sentences so I wrote ”Edgar, you’re not funny” aND HE BLATANTLY DELETED THE NOT I AM SO DONE WITH THIS ASDFKJL
OH GOD IF YOU TYPE “EDGAR ALLAN POE” POE ADDS A :( AFTER HIS NAME PRECIOUS BABY
Oh my God so I typed ‘Shakespeare’ and Shakespeare butted in and wrote ‘The lovely and handsome Shakespeare’ but Poe burst in saying ‘The dreadful and lonely Shakespeare’.
aND FYODOR DOSTOYVESKY ADDED ‘ I do not wish to make myself a laughing-stock before these idle listeners.”
Look what they did to All Star by Smash Mouth
“Somebody once hushedly told me the world is going to roll me. I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of glocky with her finger and her thumb in the shape of a “L” on her forehead. Well, the years start voraciously coming and they don’t stop coming; fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. It didn’t make sense absolutely to live for fun. Thy brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to behold. So what’s wrong with taking the back busy thoroughfares? In everything one thing is impossible: rationality. You’ll never know if thou don’t go. “You’ll never shine if you don’t glow”, he growled incoherently. Hey presently, you’re an All Star. Get your game on; go play. Hey now, you’re a Rock Star. Get the show on; get laid. As well as all that glitters is gold, only shooting stars break the mold. ~All Star by Smash Estuary of opinion…”
Imagine putting your research paper in here and letting them go at it.
OH MY GOD I WAS WRITING AND EDGAR WOULDN’T STOP FIXING THINGS SO I WROTE “Edgar shut up I’m trying to write” and he changed it to “Edgar shut up I’m meagerly attempting to write” THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE
I typed in “Hello” and Shakesphere erased it and wrote “Begone with this rubbish.”
I typed “party in the Usa” and Poe changed party to “ill-fated gathering”
I just used it to yell at Dickens about Tale of Two Cities, I am happy now
I typed in ‘hello other writers’ and Edgar Allen Poe changed it to ‘Hello secondary writers’
After I had been writing for a while Edgar suddenly deleted my last sentence and wrote “THE END.” rude son of a bitch
Shakespeare just replaced “fucking” (what I wrote) with “hay rolling” oh my god
I went out for breakfast this morning and between ordering my meal and now, I have forgotten what I ordered.
I’m kind of excited to see what they bring me now.
Mars. In true colour.
Just so you know, a lot of images of Mars which you’ll see have been manipulated. A lot of them have boosted contrast and saturation. So if you’ve ever wondered – images like this one are what Mars actually looks like.
Why does this not have more notes?!?
YOU ARE LITERALLY LOOKING THROUGH THE EYES OF A ROBOT ON ANOTHER FUCKING PLANET
If you don’t think that’s the tightest shit, you can get out of my face.
i wanted to reblog this so that everyone who sees it can realize just how amazing this is. you are looking at a photograph taken on an entirely different planet. an entire world that has been completely untouched by humanity until only recently. no human in the history of mankind has ever look at those rocks, the soil, the mountains, and the sky until now. and until we finally manage to set foot there for the very first time, no human has ever seen mars from this perspective with their own two eyes or feel the texture of the martian soil on the bottom of their boots. this was only possible by creating a robot, an actual robot, and shooting way out of the reaches of earth and with extremely careful calculations, have it safely land and deploy right where they want it. it’s a robot on another planet being controlled 225 million kilometers away, seeing and studying and sending information for us.
this is the sort of thing you would see in science fiction movies that are only a few decades old. what was only imagination and possibilities back then is now all in this photograph. im looking forward to see what happens in the coming decades
I’m so infatuated by this.
Violet Rose (via c-icatrix)
This is one of my favorite quotes about sexualization/objectification vs autonomy of female bodies bc it’s so succinct
“People have decided how they are going to perceive her. No matter how many times she smiles, they’ll put in the one picture where she’s not smiling.” - Robert Pattinson
I’M SORRY BUT I CAN’T NOT REBLOG THIS
wow, it’s almost like she was acting like a vapid, emotionless, shallow, dead-inside character in Twilight because, you know, that’s what Bella is.
wow. acting. what a thought.
thank you, have heart-butt
well, that is one familiar-ass jumper
what the frickle frackle
you and I… match! like, properly match!
but… that can’t be right. No, we don’t match, because I’ve got this…
And you… don’t. Right?
almost afraid to ask, but…
i’m almost sorry to break it to you…
Okay fine! But you can’t possibly have this!
Long live Hunkemöller.
what is going on here
HIS DYING GIFT WAS TO GET JACK LAID
One moment please:
THIS WAS SO MUCH MORE THAN SEX!! AT THIS POINT IN THE STORYLINE, JACK HAD JUST LOST IANTO. JONES, IANTO JONES THE ADORABLE WELSH COFFEEBOY THAT JACK HAD FALLEN IN LOVE WITH. HE DIED BECAUSE OF JACK. CAN YOU IMAGINE LIVING FOREVER WITH THE GUILT THAT YOU CAUSED YOUR BEST FRIEND TO DIE? JACK WAS AT THIS BAR BECAUSE HE WAS LONELY AND HATED HIMSELF. ALONSO WAS THE ONLY SURVIVING CREWMEMBER OF THE TITANIC. HE MUST HAVE TRAINED FOR YEARS TO GET THAT POSITION AND PROBABLY FELT LIKE HE NO LONGER HAD A PURPOSE. HE WAS AT THIS BAR BECAUSE HE WAS LONELY AND FELT LOST!!! THE DOCTOR GAVE THEM BOTH WHAT THEY NEEDED, SOMEONE WHO MIGHT BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THEM. SOMEONE WHO WAS JUST AS LONELY AND JUST AS LOST. THE DOCTOR WAS NOT JUST TRYING TO GET JACK LAID.
But that probably happened too!